A bunch of thoughts ..

I have a confession ..

I haven't posted in like three days ! Alright, time for some random shit that i wanna blog about.

" Beauty gets attention; Personality gets the heart. "

That dumb trick:
Common, don't fall for that trick. You could do so much better then that. I wish i could tell you the side i've seen & maybe it'll change the way you see that person. Oh, & girls, don't just go for a guy for his looks. Theres so much more to it.

It's gross:
Its disgusting when people PDA like crazy. I hate kissing pictures cause i think their GROSS. I'm not trynna offend anyone though but yeah, i prefer to keep my personal shit, personal. I mean, its cute to show your affection & holding hands/ a peck is adorable but its disgusting to see couples making outtt. But then thats just my opinion. One last note on this subject, its disgusting that so many people have their sex life written all over their neck. At least try to hide it -.-

" What most people need to learn in life is how to love people & use things; instead of using people & loving things. "

It's been a while:
It's been a while since this has been going on. Honestly, i don't ever think i'll tell you the truth. I really don't think i have to put myself through it. Well, i'm prepared for the worst so walk if you want to. Sorry to break it to you but i don't give a shit anymore.

Random:
I hate school. I'm exhausted. Three tests today but im pretty sure i did well. Hm, first day i barely have any homework. Yaayyyy, i get to sleep earlier today. So, i've been getting headaches for the past week. Their so random & their SO horrible. I hope its not migraines.. + my allergies are killllerrrrr. I can't always depend on Tylenol & Claritin so i ty to just put up with allergies & headaches. Maybe i just need more rest. This is killlllller. So theres SO much things i wish i could do. Ive been wanting to take a photoshoot thing by myself sometime but im not really sure i wanan post it up. I'm pretty sure their gonna be slutttty hahah, & everyones so judgmental. I'll see. Next i stilll haven't learned bottle pop -.- Ugggggh, i wanna do nail tutorial videos, i wanna experiment with makeup, i wanna try on new outfits ! I want my life back ):

" You never know what you have until you get it yanked out of your chest. "

The best show:
Dude, i have an obsession with CSI: NY. You HAVE to watch it if you don't already. Omfgggggg, after watching all the seasons, im so attached to it ! LOL i freaking LOVE mac taylor .. and flack, & stella, & linsey, & danny. Omfg LOL okay, enough abotu that. But yeah, watch it (: Well, you really have to watch every season to get the storyline. Theres a bigger meaning to it then just solving random crimes. I can't get enough of this show ! Alright, enough rambling. I'll post the next time i have time. But, i post a fact everyday so check up on that everyday :)

Happy 1 year + 8 months hubby ...

I have a confession ..

So i'm leaving for moonstar in 10 minutes and decided to post now since i won't have time when i come back. So lets start with yesterdayyy. Babe slept over & we got up at like 1. LOL bused to serra and got there around 3-4 ? It was hot ! :D I likeddddd. Anywaysss, decided not to go to metro mall anymore cause i didn't feel like walking so much. Shopped aroundd. I bought a necklace & my Halloween costume ! :D Its a cop, one of those hella slutty kids but w/e, its halloween i can do w/e the fuck i want >:) LOLLL. Sooooo, we took our time around the mall, didn't really get anything else. Oh yeah, babe bought 2 tees. Hm .. walked to sports authority & went to big 5, office depot, and other stuffs. Just tried to stall time LOL Went to eat @ Outback Steakhouse ! :D It was delicious but overpriced again. We had steak, fries, clam chowder, bread, this shirmp/ crab thing ( IT WAS HELLA GOOD ) .. anddddd ... i dont remember. But i was hella fucking full. LOL jeanie was supposed to come but she didn't ): So after dinner we went around party city & petsmart LOL .. no idea why. Got a ride home. Didn't do much elseeee, but he slept over again. So on to today. Slept in untilllllll .... 11 ? Watched My Antonio & Tool academy ( We do that every sunday morning cause new episodes play ). Decided to bake cupcakes ! LOL that was reallllly funn. It was fun to decorate it since i had a billion different kinds of sprinkles. Ill prob have some pics up on myspace/facebook of them. So yeahhhhh. Just chilled @ home cause im really really tired. Didn't get any homework done today & im bouta go out to dinner with famm. Frank went home ): ... Okay i gotta end it soon gotta leave O.O. Fuck i have hella hw when i get home. + i wanna do my nails ! Alrightys, imma end it here. Byebye (:

" At the end of the day, you either focus on what separates you apart or what holds you together."I noticed that all my blogs are about my boyfriend nowadays. Hes the only one who has been there for me recently and able to keep me happy. I have no idea what i'd do without him. I love you babester :) HAPPY 20 MOTHER FUCKING MONTHS ! Hella crazaaaay.

Tired & Lazy ...

I have a confession ...
I'm tired, lazy, and i just wanna sleep. Goodasss long day today with babe. I love him to deatttth ! Exhausted though, i'll post bout my day 2m. I put up a fact though, check it out if you haven't already. Byebye.

Get the fuck outta my life ...

I have a confession ...

Babes sleeping over tonight so hes here right nowww. I dont wanna bore him so imma make this one quick. First off, my day. Cramps in the morning, but Tylenol helpedddddd. Hmm, school was .. boring as usuallll. Came home & babe cooked for me :) Went to stones & shoppppped. Tried on hella shit again cause babe said " Its your day ". AGAIN ! LOOL Tehehe :) Thanks babesterrrr ! Hmmm .. bought a hella cute hoodie & a sweater to wear with leggings. Ate with babee, went to traitor joes to stock up the fridge. Called up Jeanie and Den and we met up on the bus & went to eat at this one restaurant @ noriega. It wasn't that greatt but something new again. Went to golden island like always and bought some shit. Walkkkked homeeee. Chilled @ my house for a while. And yeah, i had a pretty good day considering how sweet babe was. THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING. Your always there for me when everyone else walks out. Now, on a more serious topic.
I'm done with this. I'm done, its done. Just don't bother me anymore please. I don't want anymore effort, just get out of my life. I'm serious, GO. I'm so sick of you. You piss the shit outta me & your just full of shit. Everything that comes outta your mouth is a bunch of lies and i don't wanna hear it. Trust me, you won't hear from me anymore. I'm so done with this. I don't need it anyways.

" And i swear, i care about everything but these bitches. "

So much fucking drama & shit going on. So many people getting on my damn nerves. I gotta stop talking shit bout them though but seriously, they fucking irritate me ! Gossssiped with jeanie a lot today. She understands everything ! LOL Love her :D Maybe i'm PMSing though .. hm .. LOL Anways, thanks for listening to me !
Mkays, imma go accompany babe cause hes bored. Ending it here ! Byeeee :) Oh yeah, serra with babe 2m ! I can't waittt ! :D Everyday with him has been absolutely perfect. I fucking swear ! :) I love you babe. Happy almost one year & eight months.

I won't waste another second on you ..

I have a confession ..

Drama, Drama, & more drama. Highschool is so stupid. Hm, really busy yesterday and i didn't have time to post. Just gonna update on what happened today. Huge cramps since last night. It kept me up and i got up at 2:00 to take painkillers. & since Tylenol isn't strong enough, i had to eat this other med. Woke up in the morning & the cramps came back. Took painkillers again. Stopped the cramps for a few hours and it came back, AGAIN. Running in gym made it so much worse. ): Rawrrrr. I wish guys could experience some of this -.-. I'm hoping my cramps would go away by 2m. I had a nice outfit planned today but i was so lazy, i threw on a hoodie, put on flat boots, and clipped my hair up. Today was the worst i've ever looked @ school. -.- ANYWAYS; stupid drama over a blogging site. LOL, to that one person, if your reading this. If its who i think it is, fuck you. If its not, my bad for assumptions. But, i guess i'll never find out. Oh wells, i'm not gonna waste another minute thinking about it. Btw, its so stupid how you voted everything boring after. LOL i would've left it but when i thought about it, idc if you guys think its boring or interesting. If i get more views, obviously theres people coming back to read my shit. I knew someone would fuck with me and vote everything broing, which is funny. LOL if its so boring, don't come back -.- I don't care ! LOL ANWAYS, so now i changed it to " Did you know that ? " Yeahhhh. I think i'd rather know the answer to that. Okie dokes, i should get started on my homework & sleep early. Oh and damnit, i think im getting sick ): ...

I'm usually NEVER this mean but if your gonna be a bitch, i'll just be a bigger bitch back. And trust me, i'm goddamn good at it.

New site / Keep talking ..

I have a confession ...

So last night, i couldn't sleep because RANDOMLY this thought of a factual blogger site came up. LOL & i had so many facts i wanted to write, i couldn't fall asleep. :X i'm crazy. So this site will be more of what i feel, my day & shit. But i guess thats sometimes too much to read & it gets boring so i decided to make something a little more interesting ? LOL, i hope i don't run outta facts ! and i hope i write one everyday. I have a HUGE headache and i haven't started hw. Ive been working on the other blog site for freaking 3 hrs now -.- I'm so indecisive on what i want :). But yeah, i'm done. Its simple but nice. I wanted to write more then 1 fact today but i gotta control myself. LOL, otherwise i'd go waccckkooo. Alrightys, i'm gonna start hw !

Fuck the rumors ! Keep spreading bitches, cause i could care less. It's actually kind of funny now that i think about it. I've learned not to let this stupid shit get to me. Grow up & stop making shit up. Your wasting your time -.-

Your thoughts and opinions don't concern me ...

I have a confession ..
Im tired, stressed, & down. Gaaaah, it was supposed to be sunny today ): LOL i made a bet with frank. If it was sunny by the end of today, i owe him lunch 2m. If it stayed cold, he owes me lunch. Obviously i lost. How sad ): ... Hm .. what else happened today .. OOOOH, i cut my shirt up last night in this design but i didn't even get to show it today. GAAY, i'll do another one sometime and wear it ): how sad .. man i can't think bout anythin to post. W/e, i'll put some pics up again & end it. Byebyeeeeeee.

I love frank :) ...

I have a confession ..

Busy busy busy so hella quick blog. First of all, this one bitch is annoying the shit outta me. GET YOUR OWN SHIT. for the last time. Don't copy what i do & say but just mix the words around. Yeah, it could be a coincidence but after over 20 times ? i dont think so. If this happens again, i'll speak up. Idk, i don't wanna start a fuss outta it but someones gonna have to knock some sense into you. I guess it'll be me. Nextt, its gonna be hothothtohoththot !! Heat wave, love it :) LOL wearing shorts 2m >:) alright, i'll add like 3 pictures and just end it here. Gotta blow dry my hairrr & read my fucking chem textbook. OH, and imma get my hair done again soon :)
P.S: I freaking LOVE LOVE LOVE frank. Haddd a cuteass day with him. Made me fucking laugh uncontrollably. Your so adorable :) I love you babeeeeesterrrrrr

" All that i'm after is a life full of laughter as long as im laughing with you :) "

Admit it/ My day/ What i'm going through ...

I have a confession ..

I'm being to realize how stupid i am to keep trying. I think your full of bullshit & lies. Honestly, i could care less about you. Your starting to make me hate you. I can't even describe what i feel right now. All this time, i believed all those lies. Stop trynna make yourself look good & pretending to care. I'm the victim, not you, don't get it wrong. It's so obvious you don't give a shit so why can't you admit it and stop putting on that dumb act that isn't working anyways. Open your fucking eyes & realize what the fuck your doing. I used to care but right now, i just wanna beat the living shit outta you. Fuck this !

" If you don't like me, who the hell cares, but at least admit it. "

Haha, that was harsh. ;x w/e fuck it though. I'm going through so much right now, you can't even imagine. Haha, i'd like to see you guys dealing with a death, having NO one there for you, stressing out in school, having constant arguments, being paranoid, & feeling so alone. I'm fucking miserable right now, you can't even imagine. It's ridiculous how you guys are treating me. Ughhh, lifes a pain in the ass right now & i'm feeling so much emotions i can't even describe ! Anyways, on to my day. So, babe slept over & we slept in till like 12. Did nothing for a few hours and then went to stones. I got a make up bag from Victoria Secret cause imma use my other one as a pencil case :) + you get a free mini lipgloss, its adorable. Hm, bought a tank from ninas. Went around the entire mall & did hella random shit. OH ! and babe bout me a banana split with mint, vanilla, and strawberry ice cream. As you all know, i'm hella down so he tried to do everything he could to cheer me up. LOL i thought he'd be annoyed if i tried everything on but instead he said " go ahead, its your day ". :D Hm .. wanted to eat a nice dinner tonight so we went to olive garden. Dude, we waiting like freaking an hr for a seat. 15 minutes my ass. LOL went to borders to read the new seventeen magazine cause my dad didn't know i subscribed to it & threw my magazine away thinking it was just advertisement shit. LOL IM SADD. but i read it & it was real boring. Seventeen magazine sucks -.- i wish i realized that before i subscribed. LOL i love cosmopolitan though, its really good. ANYWAYS, so finally we got a seat. I got a steak alfredo, babe had a shrimp & chicken alfedo, we shared this bread appetizer thing .. it was REALLY good, & had salad + soup + bread sticks. Yuuuuuuuuum ... we spent like 57$ though. LOL -.- helllla crazy. Everyone thinks olive garden sucks & the last time i tried it, it did. But really, its not that bad. Its just overpriced but the food is actually deliciousssss. Dude now i feel hungry again ! Hehe, thaaanks babe for bringing me there. It was nice to eat at a good restaurant, haven't done that with friends in a while. Everyones always broke so we always gotta go to random shit. Right now, hes the only one i have & the only one who's forreals there for me. Thank you so so so so so much. I fucking love youuuuuuuu<3 Well, hes sleeping over again but he already fell asleep for an hr. LOL looooser. Mkay, imma go scare him :D Byeeeee.

" I love it when my fingers are entangled in yours, my head is on your chest, & i'm listening to your heart beat. It makes me feel like nothing could ever go wrong & i'm totally, completely safe with you. "

Rest in peace...

I have a confession ...

Wow. Heard some terrible news today .. one second .. your here, all happy & lively, & the next thing you know, your gone .. I'm not gonna let out too much information cause i think thats rude but .. rest in peace goddaddy.. gah, this is so fucking sad. I'm still in shock & every little thing reminds me of it. I'm not even related to him & i feel so horrible, i can't even imagine being my godbrother or godmother. Ahah .. but this shows me i should appreciate life cause you never know what will happen. Idk, it was just so sudden & i saw him a week ago .. wth. I'm still in shock & i can't seem to get myself outta it. But believe it or not, it happened. Rest in peace <3 ...

Appreciate every moment of life. Life doesn't always go as planned..

Random ...

I have a confession ...

I have a TON of homework but i wanna post one real quick. So, 1,000 views ! (: Yayayayayay. LOL It's pretty amazing since i don't really have much friends ? But yeah, i can't believe people actually wanna read bout my damn life. LOL Mkay, anyways thanks to everyone who reads this shit ! So i'm gonna just note on shit that have happened.

• Mom & dad came back today, brought me hella shit (:
• 3 new purses; 2 ed hardy !!! :DDD
• 20+ neckalces
• 3 pairs of earrings
• 2 more ed hardy swimsuits
• a watch
• 5 belts
• more nail art shit
• 2 bracelets
• Um, i think thats it ? .. i dont remember but yeah, makes me happy :)
• Week has been going by hella fucking slow -.- sucks shit. But its finally friday so yay !
  
• Stressssssfull weeeek !
  
• Did HORRIBLE on my chem presentation. I swear to god i memorized everything but i was all shaken up & forgot everything. FML !
• I feel more confident these days. :) Not gonna say why
• Still some bullshit going on w/ certain people. Gah, i'm so fcucking irritated. Your nothin but a bunch lies & bullshit. I swear to god, stop with your fucking act.
  
• 2 tests 2m ! GAAAAAAAH !! Gotta studystudystudy
• Went to serra today, got anotherrrr leather jacket. Still haven't worn my other one to school yet but everyone has it now -.- fuckkkkk.
  
• Gottt a tank ! Ahaha
• Can't wait to get my halloween costume !

Okay, this blog was fucking RANDOM and boring. W/e gotta go study !!

Exhausted ..

I have a confession ...
+ I'm exhausted & about to fall over.
+ Quick one again !

" Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye. "

So much damn homework this week. Chem proj presentation 2m, im scared cause idk what the shit im talking about means. I needa memorize the periodic table soon. Gah, fuck school, fuck life.

Happy thought ...

I have a confession ...
Really busy, but here's a quick quote:

Theres no point of being all depressed anymore. Maybe today will be the day i'll finally start being myself again ...

Pretty smiles & makeup hide so much these days ...

I have a confession ...

I'm a complete mess but there's nothing anyone can do to fix it. Maybe .. things are supposed to be like this. Maybe .. i should have never let it get this far. Maybe .. i don't want to deal any longer. Maybe .. we'll leave it just like this. Life is unpredictable, but i should've seen this coming. Why did i not let myself believe in lies ? I should've accepted the truth months ago.

My Daaaaays:
Hm, so i haven't posted since wednesday. Schools been the same, lots of homework. Hm, babe slept over all week. Ahah, love himmm. " I fell in love with you all over again babe. " Hehe, it made me happpy. Went to dt yesterday for a lil bit. Got a top & Jeanie gave me the boots i ordered. They look exactly like the brown ones i always wear but in ankle versionn. Man, one day i gotta take a pic of alla my shoes. I'll do that sometime. Hm .. chilled @ joels house. Oh yeah on friday, jeanie came over and i did her nails. LOL i haven't done someone elses nails for hella long & i didn't know it would turn out that nice. Now im thinking about making my own fake nails ... & possibly making money offa it ? LOL i'll see. Mommmmy & Daddy are still in china. Their coming back on thrusday ! Yayyyyyyyy. I hope she can take me far away shopping sometime soon LOL Haven't gone in a while. & i think shes getting me some purses from china again (((:. Excitedddddd to see those. Umm, life has been a mess lately, as most of you all know. But i haven't really told anyone whats going on. You've probably figured it out now. But w/e, i know you don't give a shit so why should i ? Gah. W/e fuck it. ANYWAYS, i should start hw. -.- kays, i'll blog sometime this week. Byeeeeeees.

" Live life with an open heart, open mind, and live it w/ out regrets. Sometimes life can be hard & you will get hurt but its those times that make you stronger & wiser. "

P.S: I'm OBSESSED with the song " Bottle Pop " by PCD. If i have time, i'll learn the dance. I should pick dancing up again but theres no one to do it with >< ... LOL is anyone up for it ?! :D

Keep your head up high .. there are people who would kill to see you fall...

I have a confession ..

I'm tired of going to school ...
I'm exhausted from doing homework ...
I'm sick of curling up & crying everyday ...
I've cut myself way too many times ...
I'm hurt from punching too many walls ...
I'm heart broken from all this pain ..
I'm exploding from being bottled up ...
& I've had enough of this nonsense ...
But.... this is never gonna end, is it ..

" Be careful who you trust, don't listen to anyone who gets in your way. Do what you think is right & fuck what other people have to say. "

Don't take life too seriously .. Nobody makes it out alive anyways ...

I have a confession ..

I know i'm lucky to be living the life i have. I know i'm more fortunate then the rest but, why am i never happy ? There's a lot you all don't know. There's a lot you all don't see. There's a lot of secrets untold. And there's a lot of pain & stress on me. My life may seem perfect, & many of you guys think it is perfect but, it's not the truth. After all the inner pain i have gone through alone .. i will never trust anyone anymore. All this has made me put a wall up, & no one can get through. I'm all bottled up, and inside me, i am literally slowly dying. I know this is unhealthy, i know this isn't the right way to solve things but honestly, i don't trust anyone. I won't trust anymore, i won't let myself. You guys may have been there for me, but i make myself think otherwise. I wish i wasn't like this, i wish i could let loose & open up. But, this will never happen. I'll live my life like this; All bottled up & slowly dying. I'm just an innocent, hurt girl asking for no more then some love.

" I wanted you, i needed you .. but you weren't there. "My Day:

So, babe left early today, at like 10 in the morning. ): He said some things to me but i was half asleep so i have no idea what he said :X .. Anyways, got up @ 1 and went to serra with my seastarrrrrr. Bought .. 6 tops ? Loreal Hip Cream Liner :D & Lipgloss. This guy asked if we were twins. LOL .. i dont even think we look alike ! Got home @ like 6 & then went out to koi palace with godbrother ( Joel ), godfather, sister, and mom. LOL the dinner was yummy but we ordered WAY too much food. Everyone had to eat like 2-3 bowls of finsoup -.- and hella other shit. Gahhh, the abalone was yummy thoguh. I was bloated -.- LOL ANYWAYS, Joel came over afterwards & we watched 2 episodes of CSI; NY. Thats the shit. LOL uhm .. yeah, ordered my boots today ! FINALLY. LOL i can't wait till i get them :). So i've decided to post a blog every weekend. Like a nice one. I'm gonna try to make them look pretty now. Yeahs, okay i'm exhausted and i wanna sleep soon. Byeeeee :)

My life seems perfect, but all you know is a bunch of lies ..

" The only people you need in your life are the ones that prove they need you in theirs. "

I have a confession ...

I'm telling myself to give up but my heart is telling my otherwise. I'm lost, extremely confused, & hurt. The only thing i could do is stay strong & wait to see what happens. I'm not gonna let tears fall from my eyes again .. not anymore.

"It’s not about being who everyone else wants you to be, its about being yourself and finding someone who loves every bit of it."

MyDay:

So, babe slept over last night. We slept innnnnnn. Talked on the phone with Jeanie for a while, deciding what to do .. LOL i took FOREVER to get ready cause i didn't wanna rush :) .. Went to stones @ like 3. Stupid boys kept complaining about shopping but DUDE it was hot -.- Hm .. i only got one shirt but i got babe to get 2 tees. LOL its something i like on boys :) .. Tehehe. Hm .. then we went to trader joes to buy groceries. We got .. this Alfredo Noodle thing w/ strips of chicken. LOL hm .. went home & cooked it up. OMFG that shit was delishhhhhhh. Brought it downstairs to eat. LOL hm, watch Wanted. LOL it was cozzzzzzy :) .. Came back upstairs & talked for a while. Pretty chilled day, it wasn't amazing but it was better then nothing. I freakin hateeee and love the weather today. Does that make sense ? .. I liked how there was no wind and it was hot but i HATED how stuffy it was ! & it was all moist. LOL disgusttttting. So babe fell asleep -.- .. he always sleeps like an hour before me. LOL and i was playing neopets.. i know right O.O I have no idea why. Okay, i'm starting to just ramble about random shit & its probably getting boring. Alrighys, i'm gonna end it hereeeee. :)

" True strength is keeping yourself together when everyone expects you to fall apart. "