Basics: Stephanie Zhu. February 13, 1994; 18 yrs old. Studies biochemisty/molecular biology at UC Davis. San Francisco, California. Taken by Steven Huang since January 27, 2008. Happy-go-lucky kind of girl. Positive, confident, and unbelievably happy. Blessed with life. Love for all things beauty. I hope to inspire you in one way or another. Get to know me, I'm friendly! Xoxo

Thursday, May 28, 2009

New Camera ...

I have a confession ...
I bought a new camera :) It's AMAZING & i'm in love with it. Lemme post some pics up :)

Yeah, their not amazing but i was bored. Alrightys, i gotta memorize about 150 words now. Post next time :)

Finally ..

Wow, Finally my mozilla firefox works ! Its been over a week since i've posted. I have so much to update on. Well, my life has been crashing down .. and i feel like i'm slowly dying .. literally. I'm worn out, i've pushed myself to the limit, and i can't do any better. FML, freal. Sighhh, as expected i have too much homework to be doing this right now. So, i'll update you guys some other time. Oh yeah, i'm going to china in 10 days. Usually, i'll be SO excited but tell me why do i feel so different this time ? I'm dreading the fact that im leaving soon. It doesn't feel like a vacation. I don't wanna go there but at the same time, i dont wanna stay here. I'd do anything to run away from my situation .. then tell me .. why am i not excited ?
Sorry again for not posting.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Bit of hope ..

I have a confession ..
What a crazyass day O.O ... hella things happened today & everythings still goin wrong but w/e, i'm done dreading over stupid shit ! Haha, a lot of people were there for me today even though i barely know them. It really meant alot :) I was feeling really alone and it cheered me up. So thannnnnks ! <3 It's stupid how i'm still holding on, you put me through so much pain, its indescribable. Even after all of that, i'm still crazy about you. I miss the old you .. you changed. I miss the way you used to make me feel, the way you used to look at me, love me .. its all gone. All i'm left with is hope. I find myself constantly crying because of the awful things you say. I know i'm being stupid, letting you do this to me but it's how much i love you. Does it mean anything to you ?
& It's that bit of hope thats keeps me going.

Good day ..

I have a confession ..
Whoo, i actually had a pretty good day ! It wasn't perfect but i can't complain. Beach, Bonfire. Just chillinnnnn. I'm exhausted and i smell like burnt shit. Sleeping time, bye :)
P.S: Today was a beautiful day but 2m's gonna be better :)

Friday, May 15, 2009

Its terrible ..

I have a confession ...
Stress week is over ! Yayyy, but i got hella other shit on my mind. Dude, i fucking read a 550 pg book ALL yesterday. Damn, hella crazy. + i had worksheets and a bio test to study for, glad thats over :) So .. the whole day ive been waiting for afterschool. Every period i'd say " IS IT AFTERSCHOOL YET ?! I WANNA HAVE FUN " Bullshit. I thought it would finally be the day where things are completely normal again .. i guess i was wrong. I tried, like i said i would. I guess it isn't a misunderstanding .. i feel as if you guys are doing that shit on to me, on purpose .. like it was planned or something. I'm a human being, i have feelings. No one has any idea what im feeling and going through right now. I wish someone would understand me & be there to comfort me .. i really need it right now. It's going down the drain & i've tried but theres nothing more i can do about it. I have to let it happen.
Oh, and i do " stupid stuff " to myself sometimes. I'm not emo, i'm not gonna kill myself but its this stress relief. It hurts when i have to go through everything myself, i can't even tell anyone what i do. All you guys do is yell at me, tell me im an idiot, or just ignore me overall. I can't control it. If i could, i wouldn't be doing it. I'm not gonna state exactly what it is but im pretty sure you guys probably have an idea. Don't judge me on this. You have no idea what i go through.

I've never felt this alone in my life. Its terrible.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

One more try ..

I have a confession ..
Things aren't going that well. I feel hella betrayed but i guess its not your fault. It's probably just a misunderstanding cause i know you wouldn't deliberately do that to me. Here again, i'm tryin to run away from the situation cause i really don't wanna deal with it. I'm blocking myself outta your life, for a while, at least. Haha, i tried real hard to keep things goin, but now i just wanna give up. Then again, i was thinking .. maybe i shouldn't. Maybe, all it takes is just one more try. Maybe, this can easily be fixed. Then again, theres problems with another person. Every time i talk to you, i feel like your so annoyed. But i keep talkin to you cause i wanna keep in touch. I always have to do everything first, otherwise we'll fade. You told me what you didn't like me doing and yeah, i tried to change. I swear. But its pretty hard when its all i can do to keep a conversation going between us. This also could be easily fixed. Misunderstandings annoy me but yet, its sucha big part of my life >:/
One more try to fix it before i completely block myself out ..
Blah, i have HELLA hw this entire week so i'll barely post. Gotta get started now ! TTYL.

P.S: Happy mothers day ! Love you mommy :)

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Accept Changes ..

HELLO :) I'm too lazy to write so heres a quote ! :
" Everything in life changes you in some way, even the smallest things. If you do not accept these changes, you do not accept yourself. For through these changes brings new & greater things to you; making you wiser as time progresses. To avoid these changes is a loss. You only live your life once so don't waste a minute of it avoiding things. Let them come to you and learn from them. There’s always tomorrow. "I had a really good day :) Hm, babe's house, YMCA, hot pot. yayayayayayayay ! Jeanies here, say hi jeanie: " HI " LOL jk she never said anything i made that up. im retarded, kay, bye !

Friday, May 8, 2009

Thanks babe ! ..

I have a confession ..
It's hard to find out that someone you thought would be there for you, really isn't when you need them the most. But thats okay, it made me realize i'm more independent then i thought. Haha, not sayin i don't need you guys but it proved me wrong. I'm happy though, he was there for me today & made me laugh till i started crying. I haven't had this much fun in a while :) Oh, & i went shopping !!! Yaaay, i had a really good day.
Thanks babe <3

Thursday, May 7, 2009

My day / a rough phase ..

I have a confession ..
I feel a mix of emotions right now. Happy, then sad. Lonely, then loved. Jumpy, then exhausted. Idk, i'm weird (: I had a pretty good school day though ! Haha and i got my hair done again. I hoped for a big change but it looks pretty much the same. Oh wellllls. I haven't been keepin up w/ my blogs due to a load of hw -.- But i'll try to catch up every so often.
" They didn’t agree on much in fact, they rarely agreed on anything, they fought all the time, & they challenged each other everyday but in spite their differences they had one important thing in common ; they were crazy about each other. "

Lets work together, we'll get through this crazy ass phase.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

I have feelings too ...

I have a confession ..
I haven't felt this angry in a while. You don't even know how much hatred i'm feeling towards you right now. I don't deserve being treated like shit when all i do is try to make you happy. I chase you when your wrong, i try to hold your hand when nothing was my fault; only to get hurt in return. You yell at me, cuss at me, and tell me things that any girl in the world would dread to hear. I take it; I allow it. & It's getting way out of hand. These problems could've easily been resolved but you just have to loose it all the time. Throwing random fits at me ? What do i look like to you ? Your bitch ? Someone you can just push around ? You abuse the fact that i love you unconditionally. The way i come after you no matter who is at fault. Just today have i realized what i've been letting myself go through. I could change everything it in a split second .. but i don't. I fucking love you but this ain't about to go anywhere w/ that temper. Take a second and see things in my shoes. There's no way you could go through what i do. Think about it.
.. But through this all, i gained something. I've become stronger person: Controlling my emotions and being able to keep it together in the toughest situations. I've learned to stay calm no matter whats going on. But you don't even know what i went through to get to this point. So can you please show me some mother fucking respect ? I'd really appreciate it.

Monday, May 4, 2009

I like being un-perfect ..

I have a confession ..
I’m not a perfect girl. My hair doesn’t always stay in place & I spill things a lot. I’m really clumsy and sometimes, i'm heart broken. My friends and I sometimes argue & maybe some days, nothing goes right. But when I think about it & take a step back, I remember how amazing my life truly is and that maybe, just maybe, I like being un-perfect.

Friday, May 1, 2009

I feel their pain ..

What's going on ?!
I know i've been happy these days but my friends aren't. And when they hurt, so do i. I feel their pain. Why is everything going wrong ?!?
+ i'm bored outta my mind :/