Lifes too short to dwell on all thats wrong ..

I have a confession ..

Boys are complicated. When i try to chase you and apologize, accept it cause I'm not about to do it again. Stop playing hard to get. I'm not about to dread over some stupid shit. I'm better then that, i can pick myself back up. Fuck off >:/

P.S: Sorry for the cussing, i'm very angrified !

Favorite Song;

You see it all in my smile, you hear it all in my laugh
The way I walk you hear me talkin, no, I'm no longer sad
I've got more reason to smile more now than I've ever had
Open my eyes and realized that nothing's quite that bad
I've got a different approach to dealin' with emotion
Keeping control of my boat while drifting on this ocean
Keepin my head to the sky, keepin tears outta my eyes
Unless happiness be the reason that I decide to cry.
' I know bout standing up saying enough is enough. '
This song mother fucking picks me up.

I've always wanted to ..

I have a confession ..

I want to buy a new camera and take scenery pics :) I've always wanted to do that, but i don't wanna use my parents' money for a better camera :/ I feel bad. Hm, i'll eventually have to get one anyways, so might as well !

P.S. i'll try to write shorter blogs now cause their getting boring ;/

Heart pain ..

I have a confession ..

I'm feeling heart pain right now .. i've been having heart burns all throughout my life but this time it feels different .. i'm scared.

Happiness/ Movies ..

I have a confession ..

Happiness ..

I've been really happy this entire weekend. Always jumping around, giggling, laughing, smiling. I can never sit still ! I wasn't sure why & i thought i was going crazy; a good type of crazy. After putting a lot of thought into it, i realized its because of him. We had a deep talk on Friday & he really cheered me up. He showed me change & now he sees how much it means to me. How something that small can make such a big difference in my emotions. It improved our relationship, even though its only been 3 days. But now, i'm scared he won't keep it up. Scared that my hopes will be shattered ..

Movies ..

On saturday night, i watched " p.s i love you ". Wowww, what an emotional movie O.O .. It really opened my eyes to how important he means to me .. how i'd be if he weren't here anymore. I'd go crazzzzzzy, just like that girl. Haha, after the movie, i was in tears. :/ Well, if you haven't seen it yet, i suggest you do. It made me realize that i should enjoy every moment spent w/ him, & love him while hes still here. Fuck the fights & fuck the bullshit because if something happened, i wanna have absolutely no regrets. I watched obsessed on friday, and it was REAL good. The love they had was so cute, ahah i wanna grow up to be like that :) Oh, and i watched 21 today. It wasn't amazing but it was pretty good. Whoah, lots of movies recently ! Haha, kay, i'm out !

It's STUPID ..

I have a confession ..

I hate it when adults underestimate children. For example, when i'm out w/ friends, they always think we won't pay or we'll steal. Not all of us are like that & it irritates me when they follow me around the store. >:/ i guess i can't do anything about it though cause a lotta kids are like that. Stealing is stupid. Dine & dash is fucked. I'm not like that. I hope you aren't either.

I'm in love w/ donnie ! ...

I have a confession ..

DONNIE KLANG IS MOTHER FUCKIN SEXXXXXXY. I just finished watching MTB4 Finale; the last chapter. Yeah, i'm obsessed w/ that shit. Idk, i just had to express myself :)

Watch this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0fgfxgn9FQ
He's sexy as fuck.

Usually, no one agrees w/ me. But i don't even give a fuck anymore ! He's sexy.

It picks me up ..

I have a confession ..

Sometimes i'm able to stay positive & cheer myself up. Other times, i just feel like curling up into a ball and giving up. I constantly have mood swings. I can be laughing and the next second i'm down. Idk, i'm weird. Recently, my life have been a roller coaster ride. I'm hoping to turn that around. After my last blog & advice from Erica ( that hobo ), i've actaully been able to cheer myself up ! Ahah, i think about consequences & how everything i do, all my actions, will effect me, the rest of my day, or maybe even my life. I don't know how long i will be able to keep this up, the whole being positive thing, but i sure hope it'll be a long time. The one thing that has been helping me keep myself up is music. Amazingly, it gets me thinking. The lyrics, i relate them to myself. It picks me up :)

Where did my happiness go ? ..

I have a confession ..

Lifes been hard .. i'm not gonna lie & put up a front. I admit it, i'm not happy. First off, family problems are stressin me out. I think about it so often, it literally makes my head hurt. Next, my relationship w/ him has been rocky. We try to get past it but after a while, everything starts to build up. It's getting to a point where i can't take it anymore. I wanna see the change, not just hear you telling me there will be change. I'm tired of waiting for it, i wanna see it, NOW. Adding to it, i've been feeling so lonely lately. I've realized that i actually try to not make new friends. Idk, its just so hard for me to open up to new people nowadays. I have so many wonderful opportunities to meet new people but i never seem to take it. I let it pass by. I don't even know where to start w/ how i feel about my appearance. I've just been feeling real real ugly lately. Idk, its not like its a huge deal to me but it matters. I care about how i look and recently, its just not been workin. -.- God, what happened to my " wonderful " life ?! I gotta change & start taking control of my life again. Its slipping away from my grip .. slowly .. I better do something before its too late ..

Where did my happiness go ?

I love my prince charming :) ..

Oh dang, i haven't written for 6 days ! Ahah my week was pretty tiring. It passed by real fast though so thats good ! Hm, nothing important on the weekdays. Just school + a lotta hw which is the reason i never got time to post. LOL or even sleep -.- i need more of it. Anyways, my weekend was reaaaaal good :) So fridayyy i was gonna have this romantic dinner w/ babesterrr. Turned out not so good but we had fun anyways :) After dinner, we watched a movie and just chilleddd. Then i went to visit my grandpa. I hope hes gonna be okay >< ... ANYWAYS, lets not talk about that. Ahah, its a sensitive subject. Hm, the day didn't go as expected but i had fun in the end. + babe slept overrr. Saturday, stayed in bed till like 2 until we could think of somethin to do. I ended up going to CT w/ frank, erica, marlene, & alex. Ahaha, explorrrrring ! It was real funn. Had a lotta non-stop laughing moments. :) I was exhausted afterwards thoughhh. Marlene, Frank, & I went for dessert afterrrr. & then pigged out @ my house. Ahah, they were SO sleepy. Practically fell asleep @ my dinner table. Idk why but i was hellla alert. Babe slept over again cause it got really late. Hmm that brings me to today. Things got rough in the morning w/ frank & he left early :/ .. we fought & everythin but my prince charming came all the way back to my house :) Things were still a bit rough when he got here but he decided to spend the day with just ME. It really meant a lot to me and it made me real happy. We played basketball in the backyard. Then i picked up the hose and we had a water fight :)))) I couldn't stop giggling. I'm fortunate for having this .. and i appreciate every moment of it. Anyways, we made popcorn + got snacks & watched the Hannah Montana movie online. LOL he always wanted to watch it but i never wanted to go to the theaters. Too lazzzzzy. He had to leave half way into the movie though :( .. i miss him ! Alrighys, i should get started w/ my homework. Next weeks spirit week ! Idk if i should wear shorts 2m or not :/ .. its gonna be hella fuckin hot but i dont want people talkin -.- ehhhhhh, i'll see. Ahah, mkays, i'm out ! :)

P.S: I mother fucking love this weather ! It feels like summer :)

Thanks babesterrr ! :) ...

I haven't really posted a good confession in a while :/ .. Although i know what to write about, i dont have much time to put my thoughts onto this site. I planned to sleep at around 10PM tonight cause i was very tired all day but that didn't work out. I should probably sleep as soon as possible & yet, i'm still online ! Ahaha, i'm eating cheesecake :) Anyways, i had a REALLY good day ! I owe it to my babesterr though. He was the one who kept me really happy all day. No fights, no arguing :) He got me laughing / giggling throughout the day. I loveee you hunn ! Alrights imma get off now. I hope everyone had a good back to school dayyy. :) Goodnight.
P.S. I'm REALLY REALLY happy for one of my friends ( you know who, and you know why ) LOL better say " AWWW " later bitch ! Oh yeah, and i hope another one of my friends feel better :// Ahaha, i hate you guys :)

Feeling accomplished :) ..

I have a confession ..

I didn't know it was Easter today until last night .. LOL whoops well i procrastinated ALL my homework until today but amazingly i didn't stress @ all and i just finished it all :) I feel accomplished ! Just trying to drop by and say a little everyday. Technically i didn't post today cause yesterdays was a midnight .. and it says todays date so yeah .. LOL confusing but anywaysssss, i'm off to shower, nails, try on 2m's fit, and sleep :) Hopefully i'll be done by 12 ! Woo, school 2m and amazingly im kinda excited ! Idk why, i'm weird. Mkay, bye :)

A million reasons to be happy ..

I have a confession ..

Right now, i am truly happy. I mean, i could think of things in negative directions and put myself down but why in the world would i do that ?! Haha, I have a loving and caring family. I can do whatever in front of them and tell them practically anything 'cause they're there for me. Their hella chilled. My friends; Erica, Jeanie, Marlene. We were split up into different high schools worried we'd fade. Yeah, things happened here & there but we eventually talk it through. Right now, i can honestly say things feel perfect. I can tell you guys ANYTHING and i can completely be myself. I have a big feeling we're gonna stay friends for life. Haha, not to sound hella cheesy and shit but im hella fucking fortunate to have people like them in my life. Also, i have my boyfriend of 1 year & 2 months. He have seriously become a part of me & i need him in my life. We fight & we argue but on the other hand, we laugh & we love. You make me feel a way that no one else can. I don't believe in forever but i have a big feeling your gonna be the one to prove me wrong. I won't let nothing in the world get in our way. I'm one lucky girl .. i love you babesteerrr :) Hm anyways, yeah i'm just really happy & i'd like to thank them. So now i'll blog about my day. Woke up around 11 w/ my boyfriend next to me ( cause he slept over agian haha ). Hm .. kinda just stayed in bed and talked for hourss. The group decided to have a bbq but the grill wouldn't start :/... we ended up trying to cook the hamburger patty on the stove which set off the fire alarm like 10 times -.- Oh well, they were delish :) Hm .. went into the backyard to chill & then the boys had to leave at around 8 >:( Hella damn early but they had to get home ahah. Us girls were exhausted from everything so we decided to go jacuzzi. Haven't done that in a while ! Ahahh, deep girl talked in there and it really made me happy cause i looked @ things in different directions. We stayed there for like 2 hours and got hella wrinkly LOL gross .. ericas feet -.- anyways went to golden island cafe & got food at like 11 :) Came home, ate .. talked a lil more and they went home. I can honestly admit i had the best spring break this year .. i went out everyday except one day andd i chilled w/ the bests. It really made me realize i should enjoy life. It allowed me to see things in a different and more positive perspective. Hm, so how was everyone elses' spring break ?! Ahaha, tell me about it cause i'd love to hear :) Damnit, 2m's homework day, its gonna suck !

P.S: Thanks to everyone who cmmts & reads my blogs. Ahah, it actually makes me happy when i read them & it gives me a reason to keep writing. :)

Too busy to post ! ..

Ah so i'm gonna make a real quick blogg. Haven't posted for like 3 days again ! LOL so on the 9th, i went to Great Mall & Eastridge shopping malls w/ marlene & erica :) That shit was fuuuuuuuun. Hmm, the 10th ( yesterday ); we were supposed to go CT shopping & exploring but things got a lil fucked so i ended up going to DT, Taraval, Safeway, Home, then Damons hosue. Haha, we watched The Eye and i got home pretty late so i didn't have time to post. & So here i am again. Today was supposedly my " homework " day but then i hella didn't feel like it LOL so i texted Erica annnnd since she's free we're gonna BBQ at my house. Its already 4 thoguh but w/e ! :)

Is it worth the love ? ..

I don't feel like writing a confession so i'm gonna just blog. So i haven't wrote for like 3 days cause i was in Reno. Lemme just tell you bout everything on the days w/ out blogs.

April 6

Babe & sister's bf slept over cause we were gonna leave at like 7AM the next day and they couldn't get here that early in the morning. We were all supposed to wake up at 6AM but then they all overslept. Haha, me and frank actually woke up @ the right time but everyone else was sleeping and i felt mean if i had to wake them all up :/ .. Anyways so eventually we got up at like 6:30 & left at around 7:30 ? It was hella sunny there but amazingly there was snow ! We stopped there & had a couple snow ball fight. Haha, that was hilarious & got me laughing my ass off. I was sweating in snow -.- Gross shit. So we got back on the car and eventually got to Circus Circus. Checked in & went up to our room which was on lvl 7. Ummm, washed up, ate a lil, unpacked, & got ready to go down to play. Haha, the games were fuuuun. We won hella shit & i had a really good time. We eventually got bored so we went up for about 1 hr. Played some jumbo cards we bought @ the gift shop & frank took a nap. Went back down, played more & went to dinner. Wow, that buffet was AMAZING. I mean i was hypnotized by the food ! It felt endless & i couldn't even get a chance to try everything before i got food. It was hella fancy too :) Hehe, fav buffet in the worldddd ! & you know those coin pushing machine things where you win tickets ? Yeah, we got fucking hooked on that ! It was amazing though, we won so much tickets. Haha, that made time pass by hella quick and before we knew it, it was like 11:00. We were gonna go out the hotel to take a sight seeing walk and get some snacks but we couldn't leave that damn machine ! Haha, it was hilarious though cause Christian was like " After these last coins, we have to go no matter what happens ! " & then when we used it all up, omfg the coins all shifted outwards & we were like OMFG it'll only take ONE more !! We like dug through our pockets and i found a quarter !!! AHAHA put it in and we decided we needed another " ONE more " -.- .. Christian found like 2 quarters in his pocket. LOL Put that in there, got more tickets, and we forced ourselves to leave. Went up to the hotel & showered. Got ready for bed, watched Family Guy, & slept.

April 7

Idk why but when i woke up that morning, i thought i was in China... AHAH. Yeah, but it was amazing to wake up next to someone you love. Haha, i got to wake up to a kiss on the check and " Babe, its time to wake up " Haha, love him. Anyways, we ate breakfast ( i was craving eggs, bacon, toast, and sausages but we had none >:[ ), went down to play a lil more .. got breakfast at this other buffet. It had the breakfast food i liked ! Wooooooo, yum. Afterwards we went back down to weigh our tickets. Omfggg we haad like what ?! 8,000 !?!? Hahah, we ended up trading it for nothing cause then there were no good prizes :/ We'll go back and change it next time. LOL anywayyyys .. we left at around .. 3-4 ? Dudee, the car ride back was fucking killer ! So we won these 3 bigass balls and i KNEW it couldn't fit in the car but the guys wanted it. So one ball took up a whole seat up to the roof -.- I had to squish w/ frank the whole ride back. Suckkkked & Christian was hugging the ball the whole way. It was hella funnnny. The third one was smaller so it fit on the flooor. Anywayyyys, we ended up stopping at Vacaville outlet :) Spent like 900$ @ Coach. I got another coach bag. i hella like though :) Sorry mommy ! Hmm finally got home and ate dinner, slept. Frank + Christian slept over again. Ahah

April 8

So that brings us to todaay. Hm i got to sleep in & then went out to this restaurant w/ frank, jeanie, alex, & dennison. Haha, it was pretty good but overpriced. Umm, well that brings me here. So my friends are out right now & i'm so down i don't even feel like going out to chill. It fucking hurts when you hear something terrible that the one you love thinks about you. I mean, how do you expect me to ever forget that ? I'll never be able to be myself again .. shit hurts. Haha so i'm alone in my room . I really don't know what i want right now. Life sucks. I thoguht spring break would be absolutely AMAZING but i'm so fucking wrong. A few more days & back to school. I hate alla this shit. I'm going through so much when i never did anything wrong to anyone. I chase you everytime & you just fucking reject everything i do. I mean look @ it from my perspective. It hurts everytime i try to hold your hand and you move away. It hurts when i know i did nothing wrong but i try to hug you anyways while you just stand there. It hurts when you wouldn't even look @ me & all i can do is try not to cry. I'm sick of crying, im sick of trying so hard .. i know i dont deserve all this bullshit but in the end .. i feel like its worth love. People tell me im stupid to put up w/ it but yeah, love makes you do stupid things & obviously im a victim.

Good ass day .. :)

I have a confession

I had a really good day :) Finally got to spend time w/ just the girlsss. Haha, it was real fun and i laughed my ass off today. Oh, and i LOVE the weather ! Why can't it be like this everyday ?! Shitttt, so we just chilled around DT. Hahah, did some stupidass things. Only w/ them would i be crossing busy streets by dodging cars, walking at 7:00 in an alley way w/ light clothing on, being honked by a police cause of walking on a red light, singing randomass songs on the streets, buying a two liter bottle of sunkist & just chugging it, breaking hella tags off random shoes, devastated because rite aid doesn't have ice cream anymore, banging on the doors hoping the worker in h&m would open the doors and let us in, & etc. Haahaaa, funass day though. Haven't had this typa laughter for a whilee :) Wooo, reno 2m ! I'm hella fucking excited ! Ahah, i gotta pack and shit though and im lazy as fuck ! Okay, i'll end it here cause babes behind me telling me to go get dessert w/ him -.- Alrightys, bye :)
" When it hurts to look back and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you & your best friend will be there. "

Realized that nothings quite that bad ..

I have a confession ..

I guess things were too good to be true. Just yesterday, it felt like there were infinite reasons to be happy. All the friend drama is worked out, Spring break is starting, i'm going to Reno in a couple of days, there's no hw to stress about, and i finally have time to chill w/ my friends. I should have known it would only last a day. So today i stayed home & it was boring as fuckk. When do i ever stay home on a Saturday -.- .. seriously ? Hahaaaa, shit sucks ! I ended up doing homework & playing basketball w/ Vivian and Christian. Basketball was fun though, i actually got to laugh a little. I could've chilled w/ friends but we can't ever think of something to do anymore. Well it means that we've hung out so much & did practically everything but it fuckin sucks cause we end up hanging out w/ other people. Ahaha, then again if i think about it, things arn't that bad. Tomorrow is a new day, imma live up my spring break. Haha, i need some shopping ! Maybe i'll go to DT 2m :) I has just ONE bad day .. i shouldn't make it ruin my whole break. Only about 40 days of school left ! Hella excited for summer LOL Anyways, i think imma post another blog later but for now, i'm gonna end it here. Haha, this started out as a hella sad confession but now its like a happy blog .. weird .. okay bye :)
"You see it all in my smile, you hear it all in my laugh. No, i'm no longer sad. Ive got more reason to smile more now than i've ever had. Open my eyes & realized that nothing's quite that bad. I've got a different approach to dealin' w/ emotion. Keeping my head to the sky, keeping tears outta my eyes unless happiness be the reason that i decide to cry. Lifes too short to dwell on all that's wrong. "

You got a brain, now use it ..

I got a mother fuckin' confession ..

I fuckin hate biters. Haha, i've been like this since like .. 6th grade ? Freals though, get your own shit & start your own ideas. You got a brain, think for yourself & don't just take my work. I guess it just means they like it but sometimes it gets real irritating. Well .. me having a really bad day is adding to my frustration. Haha, i'll post another blog about why cause it's really off the topic. Haha, if the ones who bit offa my shit is reading this, sorry i'm being hella bitchy bout it. I'll stop trippin bout it in a while, just gotta gimme some time to chill.
P.S.: Hah, the pic has NOTHING to do w/ this .. oh well ! Couldn't find anything else.

Online conversations lead to ...

I have a confession ..

I hate misunderstandings when you talk to someone online. It happens so easily & just leads to bigger problems. If i'm just discussing something w/ you, you don't gotta get all defensive & start an argument w/ me. I was just asking you something & because of stupid misunderstandings, there we go again; another argument. Misunderstandings happen easily over the internet cause you don't know what tones and emotions are used. Tones & Emotions are really important cause if something simple is read wrong, the whole message will be conveyed differently. So if you think i'm sayin' something on like AIM/ myspace or w/e in a bad attitude, don't just jump in and get all mad bout it. Oh and i usually don't like working problems out online but if its the only choice, then yeah, it's acceptable.