Crazy in love ..

I Have a Confession ..

Love makes people do crazy things. After all you've put me through, there's no doubt in my mind that i still wanna be with you. I'm madly in love with you.

ANYWAYS; Hm, just got up. Yuup, slept in today. LOL no idea what im doing today though. It was gonna be stones/ ymca but i dont feel like doing something active. Today is sunny :) .. puts me in a better mood. Oh yeah, my parents let me get a new comp :) Well actually, my friends are buildin it but yeah, they approved it ! AAAAH. I'm excited. Hm, i haven't got time to upload any pics ><>:[ .. If shes readin this, she sucks LOL Hm .. i think shes back soon though .. ish .. LOL no idea. IM STARVINGGGGG but i gotta wait for my sister to cook breakfast/ lunch. Oh yeah, so since my dad is staying in china for a couple of months longer, ive been home alot and i have to learn how to survive on myself. So, this summer, i learned how to wash the dishes, cook for myself, and all that house shit. I wanna learn how to do the laundry though. LOL Gah, i have antoher confession. I fuckin miss china. Idk why but theres just this feeling when your there. You just feel so loved by my family there, theres absolutely no stress, and you pretty much spend all you want and do w/e you like. I miss that .. i guess its not that bad here but i can honestly say, i'm not as happy. I would wanna go again next year with no doubt. Oh well, dreading over that doesn't do any good. Okie, im gonna go get ready now, to whereever i'm going .. o.O MARLENE + JEANIE. WAAAAAKE UPPPPPPPPPPPP. LOL mkays, bye :)

Imma burnt marshmallow ! ..

Hello :) .. So uh, yesterday was pretty hot & we went to the beach. I'm a fuckin burnt marshmallow. Sucks LOL .. i NEVER tan, i BURN. :/ Anyways, hm im starting this journal with quotes and shit so i guess ill take pics of them and put them up sometime. Babe brought his computer over for me to use :) MUHAHA now i got 2 screens & i can play games. Ahah, pretty sick. I kinda want him to build me one too but im not sure yet. GAH, i want a bigass dog hella bad. Maybe my dad will be in a good mood when he gets back from china and MAYBE i could get one .. LOL Uhm .. so its like frekin 2 PM and im still home in my pjs. We don't know hwere to go so idk if i should get ready or not. Vivs friend brought over KFC :) Maybe i should eat .. im starving. Gah, this entry is random & a lil boring. Well, i dont have much serious shit i wanan post up. Okie, imma go eat now (:

I AM ..

GAH ! I haven't wrote in forever. Ahah, after this one, i guess that'll most likely happen again. So whats been goin on .. hm, ive just been goin out a lot, haha its summerrrrr, imma live it up ! Lifes been rough and im feeling VERY depressed. Fuck. Ahah, my computer crashed and i lost like 8,000 pictures. I lost fuckin middle school memories. How depressing but its time to make more. Im gonna stop thinkin bout the past and live the future to its fullest. I think its about time i stop missin the old days. Well, theres not that much that happened. I have a lotta new pics but i can't even upload it. Haha, im currently on my sisters comp. Anyways, today i went to great mall. :) 2m= Beach. Yesterday = Serra + Stones + Marlenes house .. and the day before .. uh .. i dont remmeber anymore .. Teheh. I just found a quote im in LOVE with ! Lemme put it here.

I AM ...
I am a daughter, a sister, a grand-daughter, a niece, a cousin, a friend. I am a partner, a student, a young girl, and a grown woman. I am confident and scared, terrified and excited. I am loving and caring, and thoughtful and hopeful. I am sick and tired. I am shy and friendly, and careful and careless. I am broken and whole. I am misunderstood, misguided, and mislead. I am hard working and determined, but a little scared on the inside. I wish on starts and dream my dreams. I pray to god and cry my tears. I smile on the outside, while i'm dying on the inside. I listen to others who won't listen to me. i walk on eggshells, and i walk on fire. I believe in passion, but not true love. I love you, but i push you away. I want you, but not too close. I am everything and nothing all at once. And all i want is for you to simply ..
LOVE ME.

Haha, it really relates to me :) .. i guess thats all i have to update on. Uhm, next blog will be in a week or so .. :/ SORRRRRY. Alrights, im gonna do something productive or interesting. Bye :)

Holy Shit, I'm Back ! ..

I have a confession ..

HOLY SHIT ! Its been a month since i've written. Gah, without being able to blog in china was waaaaack but at least i got there & back safe :D. Honestly, i can say my trip was better then i thought it would be. When i think about it, i am fortunate to have an oppertunity to go on a vacation like that. I know many people who would love to take my place, so i guess i should appreciate it. Hm, i think i'll create another blog to write about my days in china. I recorded everything in a notebook :) + i got about ... 1,000 or more pictures ? I'll choose a few and put that up too. So babe picked me up from the airport w/ a dozen of roses. Omfg, idk why but when i saw him i got butterflies. I was nervous and when i'm nervous, i'm clumsy as hell >< I fell a few times :X .. I liked that feeling though, it made me happy. I think this is the first time in a longggggg time that i've been satisfied with my life. :) Oh & i bought hella shit from china :D .. I think i have about 15 new pairs of shoes, 15 purses, 20 belts, and a bazillion necklaces, bracelets, & hair shit ! Oh, & 4 new swimsuits .. + other shit i don't remember .. LOL Hehe, i'm happy :) Frank just went to mail his moms bill & hes still not back -.- Grrrrrr .. Anywyas, i wonder when i'll get to hang with the group and have another girls day .. I miss it ! + i have a lotta gifts for them. Alright, i'm done ! Byes :)

Random Facts ! ..

I have a confession ..

Since i'm sick, bored, & waiting for my babe to come back home w/ some food, why don't i write some randomass facts about me ?! Things i hate, love, and just w/e comes to mind. Here goes nothin ! Haaaaah, just kidding so babe got back and i had to eat but i'll still write a lillllll. Here it goes, freal this time !

• I love animals and thats the reason why i don't eat certain types . I.E. quail, duck. If i saw the animal fully alive before served, i won't eat it. Sometimes i don't even eat shrimp. I guess that makes me half a vegetarien .. if thats possible and makes sense. LOL
• I don't like it when all someone does is gossip. Yeah, i've done that before but i learn from my mistakes. Nowadays, i barely talk shit. It gets kinda irritating when others do but i can't do anything about it.
• I like deep talks about serious topics. Idk why, it gets me really thinking about the bigger picture.
• Everyone always tells me i'm short and anerexic -.-. I got used to being told im short, its true, i am. I can't do anything about it. I hate being told im too skinny and i should eat. If you think that, obviously you don't know me at all. You should see how much i eat, i could prob eat just as much as you can or even more >:/. Go away !
• I care a whole lot about school, idk why but i tend to stress myself out over it. Schools important to me. Its my future. I don't like it when people try to influence me to care less. Its a good thing that i care a lot about it but i think i'm over doing it :// ..
• I don't like borrowing clothes from friends, i think its kinda gross. I don't like sharing food/ drinks anymore, unless we're close. Yeah, i think its kidna nasty. + franks germo and he doesn't want me to. LOL
• I'm on AIM 24/7. Literally ! I never turn off my comp :) Hehe
• I don't like to apologize unless i KNOW im wrong. You don't hear " i'm sorry " fromm me often.
• I love to sing and dance. I've took lessons for a lot of things when i was younger but ive quit everything. I've had piano, ballet, singing, chinese, modeling, acting, etc. Ahah, the only thing i kept up was modeling but i graduated. I kinda wish i didn't quit some of those now ):
• I'm not spoiled. I worked for everything i have. I don't like it when people say i'm " lucky " or " blessed ". I get about 4 horus of sleep every night in order to get good grades in school. I have never lied to my parents. If i don't do all that i do, i wouldn't have everything i have.
• I'm COMPLETELY above the influence. I plan to not drink unless its MY wedding. Smoking is DISGUSTING. So are drugs. Grossgrossgross. I don't like it when people brag about all they did. Yeah, congratulations, your shortening your life :) I hope your having fun. Okay that sounds mean, my bad. ahaha
  
• I'm a goody goody who likes to have fun. Yeah, i do crazy things and i like to go out and have fun but i know when to stop. I know what i should do and what i shouldn't. I never stole in my life and im proud of it ! :)
• I could be the nicest girl you've ever met. I'm hella innocent and shy but if you piss me off theres a whole other side of me. It barely comes out and you'll probablly not believe that it exists. Believe it or not, i get violent. Trust me, you don't wanna see it.
• I love going out and having fun. Chilllin with friends & all that. I'm pretty much down for anything. It's summer, hit me up and lets hang. Well, after i get back from china. heeeeeeheh

Mkay, i can't think of much more. I gotta go pack freal this time. LOL Bye !

I'm sick ): ..

I have a confession ..

I feel very sick ! Haha, i never updated on last month. Oh well, i dont have time ! Okay so i have a fever & i'm coughing. That sucks cause im leaving to china on monday -.- I miss my babesterr already ): But, either way i have to go. Happy or not, i might as well make the best of it huh ? Its easier said then done though. Hm so i'm gonna start a diff blog just for my china trip. I'll add pics, videos, and just a layout of my day there. So yeah, check up on that during the summer :) I think i should start packing .. that sucks ! i'm sad ): Rawr, kk update later !

I'm not ready for it ..

Finals week has come again .. & so the stress follows suit.

One more week to stay strong ..
& then its time to take off.
I'm going to a place far, far away.
Its like a whole other world ..

P.S. Pstt .. Honestly .. i'm not ready for it.